A crusty is one who is also called a traveler and a train rider. They travel across the county by hopping trains and going to other areas, as in south this time of year to Phoenix or Tucson. While the name crusty may not be a pretty description it is one liked by them. A crusty is one who is so covered in dirt and soot that they are crusty. It is rare to see one by themselves, usually there are 3 to 4 and sometimes there are girls that are traveling also. It is unusual but they are the most polite and grateful of all the ones who come to SoxPlace. They know and use the words thank you, please, may I,etc. I had one approach me about getting some food to take along. They needed enough for 16 hours. Cans of soup mix, ravioli, chili, ramen noodles, tuna, and the like. Also, they are likely to have a dog on a leash with them. I haven't asked them yet about the logistics of how they know where the train is going, how to get on and stay on, and other such items of interest, but I will.
This week I met Turtle, Squirrel, Detroit, Ice Box, and Black. A street name is not one you give yourself, it is given by the others on the street. Doyle and Jacob have identified 22 different types or categories of street connected youth, of which crustys are one. I'll share others as we go along here.
I was standing next to a young man who was sitting in a high stool. As we were talking I placed my arm behind his back to lean on the chair. He looked up at me and said, "Don't put your hand behind my back." Whoa, I apologized to him and made sure I didn't put my hand behind his back again. So much to learn.
As I have said we give out socks everyday. One young man said to me that he did not have any socks on and could he have a pair. I immediately got him a pair.
A blessing that the Lord has allowed me is that I get to spend time with my son Brian, my daughter-in-law Sarah, my grandson Gage and my daughter Chelley. I am now having lunch with my son every Monday. I've hung out with Chelley over chicken strips and pizza. For the two of us hanging out together is talking or reading. I know some of you will say, hanging out reading, that's not hanging out. OH yes it is! In the same room and just knowing she is over there is a real blessing for me. We have not been able to do that in the past. She was looking at some of my books the first evening and she said, "Dad, these are first edition Zane Greys. Did you know that?" Sure didn't but now those are on the top shelf. Copyright 1911, 1912, 1919, 1926, etc. These are books that I have had for many years and have enjoyed reading, but did not know they were first editions.
There is a Japanese TV producer that has been in contact with Doyle about doing a type of documentary for the Japanese audience. The question that is being asked is why are American teenagers running away from home. Now that is a good question to ask ourselves. They want to show it in Japan I believe as a statement to the Japanese culture to seek answers so they can avoid the same phenomenon.
I am reading a novel by Jonathan VerHoeven, a young man I met while I was serving as Chaplain in the Civil Air Patrol. He told me a few months back, in a "two ships passing at sea" type meeting, that he was writing a series of WWII novels about the Navy in the South Pacific, the titles based on the Navy Hymn. Being the old salt that I am, I was very interested. The first just came out, Perils On The Sea. His historical facts of sea battles and Navy life are so right on. If you enjoy Christian Fiction, Navy life, WWII history, naval battles, then you should get a hold of this one.
I want to leave you with a quote from Sarah Young's mighty devotional, Jesus Calling.
Jesus is speaking, "Anxiety is a result of envisioning the future without Me. So the best defense against worry is staying in communication with Me. When you turn your thoughts toward Me, you can think much more positively. Remember to listen, as well as to speak, making your thoughts a dialogue with Me."
Keep praying for us, the street connected youth, and the needs of the ministry.
Love ya'll
Troy
Matt 25:35,36
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Saturday, October 30, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
HERE AT SOX PLACE
Another interesting week here at Sox Place. My typical day, if there is such a thing, is kind of like this: up around 6am, a pot of coffee, time with my Lord, checking my emails, and around 8 start cooking something. Usually I know the night before what I'm going to cook, but it has changed after a cup of coffee. Depending on what I fix, around 10 or 10:30, I move down stairs and mingle with the staff and interns.
Around 11 we gather for a time of Bible study and prayer. Some of the street people will come in and sit with us, and they come because they want to. These are the ones who will eventually want to know more. One recently asked Doyle how to have peace in his life, he just wanted peace. Another wanted to know how to get out of his present lifestyle. Opened doors for speaking into their lives.
We officially open the door at 12 and the lunch counter is open. We do not serve them the food, they are free to get what they want and as much as they want and are welcome to come back for more. They then move to a sofa, chair, table or even outside to eat. There are pies, cakes, pastries, etc., that have come in from grocery stores, bakeries, donut shops and the kids get what they want, sometimes one will take a whole pie or cake. This will go on until the food is gone or it is closing time.
Some will crash and sleep for hours on a sofa because they know it is safe and they can sleep. For some reason they were not able to sleep during the night. Others will be gathered around the pool table, it is never without players, others are at 4 computers on Facebook or Twitter or surfing the Web. There is a large TV that movies are going during the whole time selected by one of them. People are coming and going all the time. We sit two small metal round tables outside on the sidewalk with chairs and again people are coming and going all the time.
Last week a young woman asked me to save her a cake, a birthday cake if possible. Her young son's birthday was Thursday and she wanted to have a cake for him. An elementary school (public) fixed sack lunches and drove the streets looking for street people to give them to. They saw the youth hanging out in front here and came in to see what was going on. They left about 75 sack lunches with a burrito, apple and fruit bar in them. They didn't last long.
The Lord is showing me some insights into serving. When we serve the poor we are not expecting anything back, nor can we. Look up and read for yourself Luke 6:32-36, especially 35a.
In Rick Warren's book, The Purpose Driven Life, the first line of the first chapter says it all when it comes to serving - "It's not about you." Jesus said that he came to serve, not to be served. Matt 20:28. Also read Matt 25:35-45. There is always the discussion about who is the least and as the old saying goes, When everything is said and done, more is said than done. I would put to you that instead of trying to figure out who the least is, that you go out and do something for someone who is less fortunate than yourself. As the advertising slogan goes, Just Do It!
Why not read Matt 25:35-45 and pray for the Lord to show you where your Matt 25 ministry lies? Why not start your own Matt 25 project?
I continue to ask you to pray for us here at Sox Place. There is true spiritual battle raging around us. Pray for our needs - financially it takes $2500 a month to open the doors; we are getting more requests for blankets; we desperately need one or two more freezers as we are getting food from the stadiums after home games that can be frozen, and some catering companies are doing the same; I have been asked to do a once-a-month Saturday Breakfast for the kids and will need to raise the support for that. Mention us in your prayer time as the Lord lays us on your heart.
We are giving away to other ministries food that we can not use. We are giving off the top, first fruits, to others so they can be blessed and bless others. Giving not what is not usable but what is good and very usable. Tithing, if you will. That is why we need another freezer, because God is blessing us to bless others.
Love ya'll
Troy
Around 11 we gather for a time of Bible study and prayer. Some of the street people will come in and sit with us, and they come because they want to. These are the ones who will eventually want to know more. One recently asked Doyle how to have peace in his life, he just wanted peace. Another wanted to know how to get out of his present lifestyle. Opened doors for speaking into their lives.
We officially open the door at 12 and the lunch counter is open. We do not serve them the food, they are free to get what they want and as much as they want and are welcome to come back for more. They then move to a sofa, chair, table or even outside to eat. There are pies, cakes, pastries, etc., that have come in from grocery stores, bakeries, donut shops and the kids get what they want, sometimes one will take a whole pie or cake. This will go on until the food is gone or it is closing time.
Some will crash and sleep for hours on a sofa because they know it is safe and they can sleep. For some reason they were not able to sleep during the night. Others will be gathered around the pool table, it is never without players, others are at 4 computers on Facebook or Twitter or surfing the Web. There is a large TV that movies are going during the whole time selected by one of them. People are coming and going all the time. We sit two small metal round tables outside on the sidewalk with chairs and again people are coming and going all the time.
Last week a young woman asked me to save her a cake, a birthday cake if possible. Her young son's birthday was Thursday and she wanted to have a cake for him. An elementary school (public) fixed sack lunches and drove the streets looking for street people to give them to. They saw the youth hanging out in front here and came in to see what was going on. They left about 75 sack lunches with a burrito, apple and fruit bar in them. They didn't last long.
The Lord is showing me some insights into serving. When we serve the poor we are not expecting anything back, nor can we. Look up and read for yourself Luke 6:32-36, especially 35a.
In Rick Warren's book, The Purpose Driven Life, the first line of the first chapter says it all when it comes to serving - "It's not about you." Jesus said that he came to serve, not to be served. Matt 20:28. Also read Matt 25:35-45. There is always the discussion about who is the least and as the old saying goes, When everything is said and done, more is said than done. I would put to you that instead of trying to figure out who the least is, that you go out and do something for someone who is less fortunate than yourself. As the advertising slogan goes, Just Do It!
Why not read Matt 25:35-45 and pray for the Lord to show you where your Matt 25 ministry lies? Why not start your own Matt 25 project?
I continue to ask you to pray for us here at Sox Place. There is true spiritual battle raging around us. Pray for our needs - financially it takes $2500 a month to open the doors; we are getting more requests for blankets; we desperately need one or two more freezers as we are getting food from the stadiums after home games that can be frozen, and some catering companies are doing the same; I have been asked to do a once-a-month Saturday Breakfast for the kids and will need to raise the support for that. Mention us in your prayer time as the Lord lays us on your heart.
We are giving away to other ministries food that we can not use. We are giving off the top, first fruits, to others so they can be blessed and bless others. Giving not what is not usable but what is good and very usable. Tithing, if you will. That is why we need another freezer, because God is blessing us to bless others.
Love ya'll
Troy
Sunday, October 17, 2010
FIRST WEEK AT SOX PLACE
Just over a week ago I left Bentonville for Denver. On Thursday I loaded up the truck with the help of Ken Foeppel, Brad Hill and Tim Murphy. That was after I had taken a tumble out of the back of the truck, hitting the bumper with my lower left back ribcage, and then hitting the concrete with my head. The odd thing is that I never had a tender spot or knot on my head! I really had no pain, just some discomfort, until Saturday morning, then I was in constant aching. Coughing and sneezing were two things I told myself not to do, but when I slipped up, the pain was excruciating.
I arrived at Sox Place about 2:30pm and we started throwing things off, at least the others did. It turns out that there was a 4 band concert that night next door and they were going to start unloading about 3:30. I was bent over in pain and could only point where things went, up a narrow staircase into the two rooms that was going to be my home. It was around 7 or 8 when we finished getting things situated. I spent that evening with Chelley (my daughter) and could hardly move off the sofa, except with great pain in my left side.
I spent the next day with Chelley, Brian and Sarah (my son and daughter-in-law) and of course Gage my grandson. I had called back to New Life Christian Center in Centerton, AR, my home church and asked for prayer. As Sunday passed I could feel my back getting better. I now have a tender spot back there but no pain, thank the Lord and you for your prayers.
Monday I did a little rearranging of boxes so my bed was accessible. I was living and now sleeping among the boxes. Then hung out with Doyle, my brother and boss. Some more straightening and to bed because Tuesday was my first day and I was being thrown in at the deep end.
I got up and started warming up some pulled pork sandwiches that had been donated the day before, about 200. Couldn't find regular coffee so I fixed decaf, bad mistake. I thought I'd go down on the street and just observed the traffic. First day in 2 or 3 months that it rained. I was out for about 10 minutes and got wet and cold so I turned to go back inside. OH, NO! I'm locked out. No keys, no phone, nothing. It was very funny later but not right then. I knew Doyle would be there around 9, and it is now 7:45. I had on a hooded sweat shirt and jeans and they were wet by now. I looked like some of those we served. I began to ask the Lord how these young people stayed dry and warm. Then began to pray for them. Doyle told me later that they often do not stay dry. They have come in here with clothes and sleeping bags soaked. As he put it, they just learn to survive. We provide hot meals, clothes, sleeping bags, blankets, etc, as these things are donated.
About 8:45 Doyle drove up with Josh, my nephew and boss. Josh looked at me and started laughing, would have been rolling on ground if he had not been in van. They drove on around to the back and let me in. The sandwiches were kind of dried out.
I met some different kind of people that day and the next few days. Charlotte, looks about 18, and said she thought her little toe was broken. It seems she was bumped by a car and her foot run over. She absolutely refused to see a doctor. Not much we could do. I met Smiley, Shaggy, Freckles, Kimmy and her infant daughter, Tina, Holly (she was a street person but now provides addiction counseling) and many others.
Friday we had a group of college students from Sterling College in Kansas come in for about 5 hours to help out. They cleaned, moved boxes (mine), talked with the street youth, played a card game with them and generally got things done we had not been able to get to. They were a blessing. I have a living room without boxes now.
Saturday we had a home group from a local church bring hamburgers and hot dogs. They set up in the alley and when through, there was about a dozen dogs not eaten. They wanted to know how they could get more involved. I, of course, mentioned bringing a meal once a week. They will bring chili on occasion. One lady went to Target and bought 4 sleeping bags as one person asked for one and we were out. It seems that she had been kicked out of her home at 16, so she knew the hardships these youth face each day and night.
My nephew, Josh, mentioned to me that being around this type of ministry for long periods of time can drain you and wear away at you spiritually and that you need prayer-er supporters and a body of believers to connect with. That is going to be my earnest search, to find a body of believers to connect with locally. I'm so thankful for all you who are praying for me and this ministry. So many of you at New Life Christian Center have told me that you would pray for me. Thank you, and I truly appreciate that. Nothing can be accomplished for the Kingdom without prayer. It is truly spiritual warfare here but the enemy is defeated and we have the victory through Jesus!
Love you all.
I arrived at Sox Place about 2:30pm and we started throwing things off, at least the others did. It turns out that there was a 4 band concert that night next door and they were going to start unloading about 3:30. I was bent over in pain and could only point where things went, up a narrow staircase into the two rooms that was going to be my home. It was around 7 or 8 when we finished getting things situated. I spent that evening with Chelley (my daughter) and could hardly move off the sofa, except with great pain in my left side.
I spent the next day with Chelley, Brian and Sarah (my son and daughter-in-law) and of course Gage my grandson. I had called back to New Life Christian Center in Centerton, AR, my home church and asked for prayer. As Sunday passed I could feel my back getting better. I now have a tender spot back there but no pain, thank the Lord and you for your prayers.
Monday I did a little rearranging of boxes so my bed was accessible. I was living and now sleeping among the boxes. Then hung out with Doyle, my brother and boss. Some more straightening and to bed because Tuesday was my first day and I was being thrown in at the deep end.
I got up and started warming up some pulled pork sandwiches that had been donated the day before, about 200. Couldn't find regular coffee so I fixed decaf, bad mistake. I thought I'd go down on the street and just observed the traffic. First day in 2 or 3 months that it rained. I was out for about 10 minutes and got wet and cold so I turned to go back inside. OH, NO! I'm locked out. No keys, no phone, nothing. It was very funny later but not right then. I knew Doyle would be there around 9, and it is now 7:45. I had on a hooded sweat shirt and jeans and they were wet by now. I looked like some of those we served. I began to ask the Lord how these young people stayed dry and warm. Then began to pray for them. Doyle told me later that they often do not stay dry. They have come in here with clothes and sleeping bags soaked. As he put it, they just learn to survive. We provide hot meals, clothes, sleeping bags, blankets, etc, as these things are donated.
About 8:45 Doyle drove up with Josh, my nephew and boss. Josh looked at me and started laughing, would have been rolling on ground if he had not been in van. They drove on around to the back and let me in. The sandwiches were kind of dried out.
I met some different kind of people that day and the next few days. Charlotte, looks about 18, and said she thought her little toe was broken. It seems she was bumped by a car and her foot run over. She absolutely refused to see a doctor. Not much we could do. I met Smiley, Shaggy, Freckles, Kimmy and her infant daughter, Tina, Holly (she was a street person but now provides addiction counseling) and many others.
Friday we had a group of college students from Sterling College in Kansas come in for about 5 hours to help out. They cleaned, moved boxes (mine), talked with the street youth, played a card game with them and generally got things done we had not been able to get to. They were a blessing. I have a living room without boxes now.
Saturday we had a home group from a local church bring hamburgers and hot dogs. They set up in the alley and when through, there was about a dozen dogs not eaten. They wanted to know how they could get more involved. I, of course, mentioned bringing a meal once a week. They will bring chili on occasion. One lady went to Target and bought 4 sleeping bags as one person asked for one and we were out. It seems that she had been kicked out of her home at 16, so she knew the hardships these youth face each day and night.
My nephew, Josh, mentioned to me that being around this type of ministry for long periods of time can drain you and wear away at you spiritually and that you need prayer-er supporters and a body of believers to connect with. That is going to be my earnest search, to find a body of believers to connect with locally. I'm so thankful for all you who are praying for me and this ministry. So many of you at New Life Christian Center have told me that you would pray for me. Thank you, and I truly appreciate that. Nothing can be accomplished for the Kingdom without prayer. It is truly spiritual warfare here but the enemy is defeated and we have the victory through Jesus!
Love you all.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
WHAT HAPPENED TO JEANNE 3
Our meeting the oncologist was Wed the 13th. On Thursday I was out taking care of business. Thursday evening Jeanne had a very restless night. I'm not sure got any sleep. Not in pain but just restless.
We talked a bit during the morning Friday and started getting ready to go to the church for work. I came out of bathroom about 9:45, and I said something to Jeanne to which she responded in a normal conversation. I went into the next room to get my coat and when I started back to our bedroom Jeanne was on the floor beside the bed. I tried to help her up but she looked at me with blank eyes. I called 911 and paramedics were there in about 3 minutes (station was two blocks behind us). Randy Gully, a very good friend from church and also a paramedic, was off duty when he heard the call on his radio. He was 1 minute behind others. Thanks God for him, as he first helped me then helped other paramedics get Jeanne to the ambulance. Her blood sugar was 55, blood pressure was 50/60. They got her stabilized and she waved and grinned at me at the back window looking in.
She arrived at hospital and they hooked her up to monitors. She was never given any medication. Xrays and blood samples were taken. After reviewing everything, the ER doctor talked with me about the situation then said,"she has maybe two days to live." I was floored! I had no idea about anything like this
He said we could put her on a ventilator and help her breath for this episode. Jeanne and I talked it over and she said that she had been on a ventilator before and came off ok. In the meantime the ER doctor talked with oncologists and came back to me and said that he did not now recommend the ventilator. He said the cancer had spread to her right breast and lung and her liver. Jeanne and I talked this over also and she was ok with it all. During the day several people came and went and came back and were a real help to me with their presence and their prayers.
Around 4pm I am signing some papers for them to draw fluid off her lungs when the ER doctor said, "She's going NOW! She had been drifting in and out of sleep and she simply slipped away in her sleep. She was not drugged in anyway. Jesus reached out His hand to her and she took it.
That's a bit of a nutshell as to what happened. This has been hard to re-live those last days and hours but has also been a good release.
The Lord is good and He is good all the time, blessed be the Lord.
We talked a bit during the morning Friday and started getting ready to go to the church for work. I came out of bathroom about 9:45, and I said something to Jeanne to which she responded in a normal conversation. I went into the next room to get my coat and when I started back to our bedroom Jeanne was on the floor beside the bed. I tried to help her up but she looked at me with blank eyes. I called 911 and paramedics were there in about 3 minutes (station was two blocks behind us). Randy Gully, a very good friend from church and also a paramedic, was off duty when he heard the call on his radio. He was 1 minute behind others. Thanks God for him, as he first helped me then helped other paramedics get Jeanne to the ambulance. Her blood sugar was 55, blood pressure was 50/60. They got her stabilized and she waved and grinned at me at the back window looking in.
She arrived at hospital and they hooked her up to monitors. She was never given any medication. Xrays and blood samples were taken. After reviewing everything, the ER doctor talked with me about the situation then said,"she has maybe two days to live." I was floored! I had no idea about anything like this
He said we could put her on a ventilator and help her breath for this episode. Jeanne and I talked it over and she said that she had been on a ventilator before and came off ok. In the meantime the ER doctor talked with oncologists and came back to me and said that he did not now recommend the ventilator. He said the cancer had spread to her right breast and lung and her liver. Jeanne and I talked this over also and she was ok with it all. During the day several people came and went and came back and were a real help to me with their presence and their prayers.
Around 4pm I am signing some papers for them to draw fluid off her lungs when the ER doctor said, "She's going NOW! She had been drifting in and out of sleep and she simply slipped away in her sleep. She was not drugged in anyway. Jesus reached out His hand to her and she took it.
That's a bit of a nutshell as to what happened. This has been hard to re-live those last days and hours but has also been a good release.
The Lord is good and He is good all the time, blessed be the Lord.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
WHAT ABOUT JEANNE? (2)
I think I was in denial, or at least not remembering information from the oncologist. In December '09 we met with the oncologist who said the cancer was back. I guess I had conveniently forgotten that we had been told that there was no known medical cure. He said he could try another combination of chemo drugs. Jeanne asked what they were and said she had tried them before and had pretty bad reactions to them. She asked to wait until after Christmas to start them. She wanted to go to Albuquerque to see our new grandson, Gage, Brian and Sarah's first born and our first grandchild. She knew when she started the chemo treatment she would not be able to travel. I thank the Lord that she decided that.
She made the trip to Albuquerque and back just fine. No oxygen or wheelchair. I will always be thankful that she was able to spend time with Gage. Even now I can hardly hold back the tears that begin to come.
She started the first chemo treatment on Dec 30th, a Wednesday. On Saturday night she had a severe reaction. On Tuesday she went to her morning Bible Study at church. Her second treatment was on December, Jan 6. That Saturday night there was another severe and violent reaction. I was ready through out the night to call 911, but Jeanne did not want it. She made the decision that night that she was not going to have anymore treatments. Again, she drove herself to church to meet with the women for Bible study. They could tell she was not feeling good but I don't think more than one or two knew what was happening. I was out of town that day for business.
On Wed the 13th, we sat with the oncologist and told him no more treatments. The thought went through my mind that I needed to start preparing for her eventual struggle and death, little did I know how soon however.
Again I need to stop for now. I'll pick this up in a few hours or maybe days. It's both hard and good to write this. I'm still amazed at the good Hand of the Lord through all this. There were times we could see the obvious working of the Lord and I haven't shared it all. He was the anchor of my soul the last 4 years and continues to be.
Until next time may the Lord bless you all and keep you through your circumstances. Read Hebrews 4:16.
She made the trip to Albuquerque and back just fine. No oxygen or wheelchair. I will always be thankful that she was able to spend time with Gage. Even now I can hardly hold back the tears that begin to come.
She started the first chemo treatment on Dec 30th, a Wednesday. On Saturday night she had a severe reaction. On Tuesday she went to her morning Bible Study at church. Her second treatment was on December, Jan 6. That Saturday night there was another severe and violent reaction. I was ready through out the night to call 911, but Jeanne did not want it. She made the decision that night that she was not going to have anymore treatments. Again, she drove herself to church to meet with the women for Bible study. They could tell she was not feeling good but I don't think more than one or two knew what was happening. I was out of town that day for business.
On Wed the 13th, we sat with the oncologist and told him no more treatments. The thought went through my mind that I needed to start preparing for her eventual struggle and death, little did I know how soon however.
Again I need to stop for now. I'll pick this up in a few hours or maybe days. It's both hard and good to write this. I'm still amazed at the good Hand of the Lord through all this. There were times we could see the obvious working of the Lord and I haven't shared it all. He was the anchor of my soul the last 4 years and continues to be.
Until next time may the Lord bless you all and keep you through your circumstances. Read Hebrews 4:16.
WHAT ABOUT JEANNE?
January 15, 2010, at about 4:10pm, the ER doctor turned and said in a shocked voice, "She's going NOW! He was surprised. She stepped from the land of the dying into the land of the living at 4:15pm. She was in the presence of the One she had served and loved with all her being for so many years.
So many of you asked, what happened? You said that you didn't know she was so bad. You thought she was healed; that the cancer was in remisson, that she was doing better.
In July '06, Jeanne began to realize something was wrong. There was not a lump but there was a mass. We had no insurance but she found out about an organization that would pay for a mammogram. This organization got us hooked up with Medicaid. These places are out there and you can find them, you just have to be persistent.
The mammogram confirmed cancer in her breast. She then had an incisional biopsy that also confirmed it and that it was Inflammatory Breast Cancer. Let me beat a drum here - all women and their husbands, PLEASE go on the internet and research IBC. It is not like other breast cancers, it is not common. There are symptoms that are unusual and even embarassing. There was a case of a 16 year old girl who was so embarassed she did not even tell her mother.
We were told that there was no known medical cure at this time. Jeanne did not roll over and die. She fought it, for 3 1/2 years she fought it, amazed the oncologist and his nursing staff. She always gave credit to her Lord and Savior.
Jeanne went completely organic and natural for about 6 months and was experiencing a lessening of the symptoms. In April she began to have difficulty breathing and quit her work as a Field Inspector for insurance companies. We traveled to Albuquerque in May to conduct the wedding of our son Brian to Sarah. Oh, did she love being a part of that. However, she was in a wheelchair and really having difficulty breathing. Our good friend, Harold Vann, loaned her some oxygen tanks and that kept her going.
About a week after returning from Albuquerque she said one morning that she needed to go to the hospital, she couldn't get her breath. The oncologist examined her and based on the visual examination, he told us later, that he said to himself, "She's a goner." On questioning some medical people including my sister, Enola, who is an RN, I was told it doesn't look good, it's bad; the intern said she only has a few months. I was told to either start chemo or take her home and call Hospice. The oncologist didn't think chemo would help but that it might give her a few more weeks or months.
When she responded so well to the chemo the oncologist and his staff were surprised.
It was during this time, June, that her mother died and she could not go to the funeral. It was a really hard time for her.
Her hair had started coming out and she started wearing a wig. But after a few months her hair began to come back and she began brushing it. She had just started going without a wig when she was told she had 4 tumors on her brain and needed radiation. She lost her hair again, except it came out everywhere except for a 1 1/2" strip that ran from her forehead back to her neck - a MOHAWK! She laughed about that.
She was on Herciptin, a non-chemo antibody most of the time. Her blood work was good. However, in the last few months her "tumor marker" was moving up - not a good sign.
I need to stop at this point and give myself a break. I'll pick this up in a few hours or maybe tomorrow.
So many of you asked, what happened? You said that you didn't know she was so bad. You thought she was healed; that the cancer was in remisson, that she was doing better.
In July '06, Jeanne began to realize something was wrong. There was not a lump but there was a mass. We had no insurance but she found out about an organization that would pay for a mammogram. This organization got us hooked up with Medicaid. These places are out there and you can find them, you just have to be persistent.
The mammogram confirmed cancer in her breast. She then had an incisional biopsy that also confirmed it and that it was Inflammatory Breast Cancer. Let me beat a drum here - all women and their husbands, PLEASE go on the internet and research IBC. It is not like other breast cancers, it is not common. There are symptoms that are unusual and even embarassing. There was a case of a 16 year old girl who was so embarassed she did not even tell her mother.
We were told that there was no known medical cure at this time. Jeanne did not roll over and die. She fought it, for 3 1/2 years she fought it, amazed the oncologist and his nursing staff. She always gave credit to her Lord and Savior.
Jeanne went completely organic and natural for about 6 months and was experiencing a lessening of the symptoms. In April she began to have difficulty breathing and quit her work as a Field Inspector for insurance companies. We traveled to Albuquerque in May to conduct the wedding of our son Brian to Sarah. Oh, did she love being a part of that. However, she was in a wheelchair and really having difficulty breathing. Our good friend, Harold Vann, loaned her some oxygen tanks and that kept her going.
About a week after returning from Albuquerque she said one morning that she needed to go to the hospital, she couldn't get her breath. The oncologist examined her and based on the visual examination, he told us later, that he said to himself, "She's a goner." On questioning some medical people including my sister, Enola, who is an RN, I was told it doesn't look good, it's bad; the intern said she only has a few months. I was told to either start chemo or take her home and call Hospice. The oncologist didn't think chemo would help but that it might give her a few more weeks or months.
When she responded so well to the chemo the oncologist and his staff were surprised.
It was during this time, June, that her mother died and she could not go to the funeral. It was a really hard time for her.
Her hair had started coming out and she started wearing a wig. But after a few months her hair began to come back and she began brushing it. She had just started going without a wig when she was told she had 4 tumors on her brain and needed radiation. She lost her hair again, except it came out everywhere except for a 1 1/2" strip that ran from her forehead back to her neck - a MOHAWK! She laughed about that.
She was on Herciptin, a non-chemo antibody most of the time. Her blood work was good. However, in the last few months her "tumor marker" was moving up - not a good sign.
I need to stop at this point and give myself a break. I'll pick this up in a few hours or maybe tomorrow.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
How are you doing? I get asked this question often. I don't mind anyone asking, however, I'm not sure how to answer most of the time.
So...how am I doing? It depends on when the question is asked - during the day or the night. Am I tired or rested?
The first months after Jeanne died I was in a pit but tried to keep up a good front around others. Silly, huh? Everyone knew I was not on top of the world. During the daytime I was focused on work so my mind didn't dwell on that missing part of my life. Evenings were the worst, and still hold some moments of loneliness. I don't get a lot accomplished in the evenings.
But...how am I doing? The Lord has been an ever present help and presence through it all. Unless you have experienced a time when you were out of control with the overwhelming circumstances in your life, the statement of "the Lord being an ever present help", probably doesn't ring a bell for you.
He is called the anchor of my soul. My Anchor!! It's another statement that is so true for me.
The Lord has shown me, over a period of months that His plan for my life is not over. Jer 29:11 I heard about 70 & 80 year old men and women going on short term mission trips to Europe and China. I began telling myself that I'm not too old for the Lord's work! He led me to Isaiah 41:9b, where He said to me, "You are my servant; I have chosen you and have not rejected you."
You might ask, didn't I already know this? Yes, but remember I'm coming out of an emotional fog the last few months. Jeanne was very much apart of His plan for my life, but her death did not stop His plan for me.
So...how am I doing? I'm ok, I'm fine, I'm doing alright, I'm still missing my friend and companion and my beloved wife, I'm still trusting in the Lord, I'm holding onto His strong right hand that He grasps me with. Isaiah 41:10
My journey with him continues and it is an exciting and fulfilling journey.
In my next writing I want to share details of Jeanne's last days, as many of you have asked about them - what happened? I thought she was doing better. I didn't know she was so bad.
Until then, may our Lord and savior bless you all with His grace and love.
Love you all.
Troy
Come visit us at http://www.soxplace.com/ and then come visit us in Denver.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHERE AM I?
Ever asked yourself those questions? What's happening to/in my life? Where am I in this walk called my life? I certainly have the last few months.
My blog title is what I see my life has been...A Journey. A journey that my Lord started me on some time ago. Was it in August when my brother asked me to come out Denver and work at Soxplace? Was it in July when He said that I was His servant, He had chosen me and not rejected me (Isaiah 41:9b), then told me to get my house in order now? Was it in January when Jeanne died? Was it in August 1964 when I accepted Jesus as my savior? No, I believe it started in eternity before I was even formed in my mothers womb. Jeremiah 1:5. What does that say about when life begins?
I wrote in my journal a few weeks ago, the journey continues. There was a few months there right after Jeanne died that, though I didn't actually verbalize it, I was feeling like life was over. And, yes it was over, life as I had been use to. But the Lord assured me that His plans for my life were not over. Yes, Jeanne had been part of His plan for my life for 20 years, but His plans did not stop when He called her home.
I am going to be working with one of my Heros of the Faith - my brother Doyle. I have watched him over the years over come many adversities and hindrances to keep him from the calling God had placed on his life. I've watched him be successful (as God counts success - being faithful) without encouragement from some of the most important people in his life. I am privileged to be going to work alongside him and his sons in this ministry to the throw away kids on the streets of Denver. Though the idea of my younger brother being my boss and my nephew also being my boss, well, I don't know... ;D>
I ask for your prayers as this is not only a step of faith financially, but also from the standpoint of being out of my comfort zone. And prayer for those He brings into my life that I will be able to exhibit the love of Christ for them. That being said, I am so excited to be starting on this next part of my journey! I am sad to be physically leaving such good friends and family, however, the excitement of this journey has got me EXCITED. Did I tell you how excited I am?
In the next couple of posts I want to share with you some of Jeanne's last days. Many of you wrote and asked, "What happened?" I have wanted to share this for some time but just haven't. I ask your indulgence as I do this for many friends and family. After that I plan on trying to post something each week about the ministry there in Denver and the Lord's work in my life as I continue on this journey He started me on a long time back.
Love you all,
Troy
I am sending out an email sharing this blog address so anyone who wants to can come look. I will not be putting you on one of those infernal, eternal mailing lists.
Come visit us at http://www.soxplace.com/ and then come visit us.
My blog title is what I see my life has been...A Journey. A journey that my Lord started me on some time ago. Was it in August when my brother asked me to come out Denver and work at Soxplace? Was it in July when He said that I was His servant, He had chosen me and not rejected me (Isaiah 41:9b), then told me to get my house in order now? Was it in January when Jeanne died? Was it in August 1964 when I accepted Jesus as my savior? No, I believe it started in eternity before I was even formed in my mothers womb. Jeremiah 1:5. What does that say about when life begins?
I wrote in my journal a few weeks ago, the journey continues. There was a few months there right after Jeanne died that, though I didn't actually verbalize it, I was feeling like life was over. And, yes it was over, life as I had been use to. But the Lord assured me that His plans for my life were not over. Yes, Jeanne had been part of His plan for my life for 20 years, but His plans did not stop when He called her home.
I am going to be working with one of my Heros of the Faith - my brother Doyle. I have watched him over the years over come many adversities and hindrances to keep him from the calling God had placed on his life. I've watched him be successful (as God counts success - being faithful) without encouragement from some of the most important people in his life. I am privileged to be going to work alongside him and his sons in this ministry to the throw away kids on the streets of Denver. Though the idea of my younger brother being my boss and my nephew also being my boss, well, I don't know... ;D>
I ask for your prayers as this is not only a step of faith financially, but also from the standpoint of being out of my comfort zone. And prayer for those He brings into my life that I will be able to exhibit the love of Christ for them. That being said, I am so excited to be starting on this next part of my journey! I am sad to be physically leaving such good friends and family, however, the excitement of this journey has got me EXCITED. Did I tell you how excited I am?
In the next couple of posts I want to share with you some of Jeanne's last days. Many of you wrote and asked, "What happened?" I have wanted to share this for some time but just haven't. I ask your indulgence as I do this for many friends and family. After that I plan on trying to post something each week about the ministry there in Denver and the Lord's work in my life as I continue on this journey He started me on a long time back.
Love you all,
Troy
I am sending out an email sharing this blog address so anyone who wants to can come look. I will not be putting you on one of those infernal, eternal mailing lists.
Come visit us at http://www.soxplace.com/ and then come visit us.
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